Filed under: Bio, Institutional Church | Tags: Dysfunctional Church, God, Institutional Church, Jesus, Life After Church, Vision
Over that next month I met with three of the six elders. I expressed my concerns, the lack of mission and direction, and some of my dreams. To my surprise they all agreed. Each of them suggested that they were feeling the same way, and that they were working toward change. I actually found myself optimistic again when talking to them, but back in the day to day grind of “church work” felt the same intense pressure to run and hide. Depending on the day, I was cautiously optimistic or utterly depressed. I kept asking God for direction, for Him to show me what I was supposed to do, and for Him to do it so I would know it was Him working and not my own arrogance or pride.
The day after a very positive meeting with an elder the senior pastor began our staff meeting by saying “We need to talk about direction and what we as a church want to focus on.”
Are you kidding me! I almost jumped out of my chair I was so excited! We proceeded to listen to him lay out what he thought the vision of the church should be, and while I didn’t agree 100% with it, I was so excited to be talking about practical issues of change and movement that I didn’t really care. I remember going down to get soda for lunch and telling the person with me (who knew all about my struggles) that “I think I can actually stay here if we are going to start talking like this”. Looking back at it even now I can see the same old pattern of dysfunction, but at the time everything seemed new. We finished the meeting and I went home and told Liza how optimistic I was feeling. She smiled at me knowingly…
