Filed under: Missional Living, Quotes | Tags: Authentic Christianity, Blogs, Faith, Jesus-followers, Spirituality
I have a confession to make.
One of my favorite blogs to read is for moms, and about moms. Part of that is because the author is a friend of mine who I have known since she was in Jr. High, and it’s great to see her grow and mature. Plus I like to keep up on what is going on in the lives of three of my favorite people in the world. The other part of it is that Emery is such a talented writer that I often read her posts wondering at her ability to turn everyday challenges and triumphs into such beautiful word pictures. Last week she wrote a post in which she shared some of her struggles with the tension of being an authentic Jesus follower in a consumeristic culture. Her thoughts challenged and encouraged me because much of her thoughts were my thoughts, and I think many people thoughts. God is doing something new around the country and around the world. Thats not to say that the old is wrong or outdated, but that God is birthing something that is calling people deeper and deeper into bringing HIs kingdom here in new ways. I have Emery’s permission to repost her blog here. So spend some time with it, share your thoughts, and maybe, if you have time in your online reading schedule, head on over to her site, Moms Are For Everyone, and get connected with her, Chris, and Ezra, and what God is doing in Oklahoma City. Enjoy:
It is going to be SEVENTY SIX degrees here today. 76!!
Tomorrow?
Chance of SNOW.
We had a picnic with the neighbors today and I had a tank top on and felt HOT. Ezra’s cheeks turned bright pink like he’d gotten too much sun. Yet tomorrow, I will be watching rain and snow from my window- cranking up the heater and feeling like I am in the Twilight Zone.
Oklahoma weather is bizarre.
I must openly admit to the cheese-ball card I’m about to play here and tell you that, yes, I’m moments away from relating these crazy weather patterns to the patterns of my heart/mind over the past few days.
I am losing steam.
My desire and passion to get out and find a job and do new things is fading and I am feeling like my old self again… tired, unmotivated, sad.
Summer yesterday, Winter today.
I have been beating myself up about these things. Telling myself I am not a good Christian, a good wife, a good mum, a good friend. Ezra has started conversing non-stop in the body-cringing frequency of a WHINE. I am quick to lose my temper and my days feel like years. I never go outside. I wonder if God thinks this is stupid. I suddenly wish I was an outdoors-y type of person… leading Ezra on adventures through the woods and taking family camping trips into the middle of nowhere with nothing but tents and food… adventure in our faces and sunsets on our backs.
Why am I feeling this strange tension all of the sudden?
I think it has a lot to do with the recent realization that I have led a completely SAFE and completely SHELTERED life up to this point… and that no one who’s ever contributed to the world could describe their lives as “safe”. I am so blessed to have had such a life, but when you are an American who has always had everything you’ve ever needed, it doesn’t leave much room for FAITH or total dependence on God. I’m suddenly not okay with being a couch potato Christian. This suddenly seems ridiculous to me, but it’s the life I have been living for as long as I can remember.
The God I believe in is not a safe God. He is adventurous and dangerous and wild. He asks you to do ludicrous things with no promise of pleasant outcomes. He calls you to risk your life for others; calls you to lay it all on the line so that He can shine through you. He demands great sacrifice and obedience.
Going to the grocery store is the adventure in my life. And I feel like I don’t even know God because I’ve never really had to know Him. (Is any of this making sense? Didn’t I start this post off by talking about the weather?) All of these thoughts seem a bit scary to me. And they are so loud inside my head I can’t think of much else.
Back when life was tumultuous and my heart was at a constant breaking point… back when I was fighting for the man I loved… I felt God near. It was the most difficult yet sweetest time of my life. Because I needed Him. I woke up each morning feeling like I wasn’t going to survive if He didn’t spoon-feed me my next breath.
I NEEDED Him.
So, I am praying. I am praying that God would use me in a great adventure. That He would find me ready and able when and if He ever needs me. I am praying for the motivation to get out of my house. The motivation to volunteer or spend myself on account of someone else. Because right now, I don’t have that motivation. I don’t have any desire to walk out of my front door. And I NEED that to change because the adventure I so desperately want to be a part of isn’t just going to come knock on my door and ask if I’m not doing anything later. And I honestly think that’s what I’ve been waiting for all this time…
I woke up in the middle of the night last night feeling panic at the thought of all of this. Like I’d messed everything up and wanted nothing more than to start it all over again. Regret. The WORST feeling in the world. And something in the atmosphere of my house didn’t feel right… there was something heavy and oppressive in the air and I felt scared and hopeless. I tried to pray. I felt a strong urge to grab the dusty Bible on my nightstand. I wished that I had more of His words memorized in my heart so that I could recall them to my mind in the dark.
I prayed that God would forgive me, change me, calm me. I told the darkness in my bedroom that He is Faithful and Good. I whispered it to my quiet room and tried to believe it. My chest started to feel a bit lighter and the atmosphere began to shift. I prayed some more and finally fell back asleep.
So, to the inky stuff inside my heart:
God is Faithful. God is Good.
The weather could change again tomorrow, but those things never will.
Filed under: Book Review, Institutional Church, Missional Church | Tags: Christianity, Faith, irrelevance, Jesus
The last few days I’ve been hit with the fact that for many people in our world today following Jesus is seen as being boring and sheltered. Christians are seen (or maybe the are) as being sheltered, uninterested in the bigger world, and uninterested in people outside of their “clique”. In the latest book I’m reading “UnChristian” by David Kinnaman, he devotes a whole chapter to the fact that one of the dominant perceptions of Christians today is that they are sheltered, According to their research with the Barna Group, “Three-quarters of Mosaics and Busters (those 17-30) outside the church said that present day Christianity could accurately be described as old-fashioned, and seven out of ten believe the faith is out of touch with reality…Two-thirds of young outsiders said the faith is boring, a description embraced by one-quarter of young churchgoers as well. The image of being sheltered means the Christian faith seems dull, flat. and lifeless.” I recently had a conversation with someone I work with who couldn’t believe I was a “Christian” because I sat and had a beer with them and listened to them tell me about their life. To them their was “no f-ing way” that I could be a Christian because I actually took time to hang out with them.
EXCUSE ME!!!!
When did the most revolutionary and exciting message of all time get distilled down into a belief system that was all about being sheltered in our special bubbles completely inoculated from our culture? Is that really what Jesus meant when He said “we are to be in the world but not of it”? How have we as followers of Jesus so missed the revolutionary adventure that even people among us see our lifestyle as boring? When did we go from being shapers and influencers of culture to retreating into the safety of our own special culture? As I experience more and more life outside the walls of the institutional church building I realize just what a huge divide there is between how we as Christians view ourselves and how the world at large view us. Obviously I don’t think most followers of Jesus want to be seen as irrelevant or sheltered, or even think they are perceived that way, but the issue here is all about perception.
I believe that the life of Jesus is the most exciting and life-giving story ever lived. And the opportunity to be a part of it and “in” on what He is continuing to do in this world is an amazing thing that breathes purpose and excitement into even the most mundane activities. I want to be the kind of person who represents Jesus as He is in Scripture. The kind of guy who would hang out with and love those He would hang out with: the people cast out from the religious establishment, the IRS agents, the party animals, and those suffering from AIDS. Not to change the perception of people about who Christians are, but because those are people that God loves! Yet another one of my resolutions for 2008. Please consider joining me, in your own context, in the life giving adventure of loving people like Jesus. Together we can be agents of the Kingdom of God in our workplaces, schools, families, sports teams, and everywhere else He has placed us.
And if your not a follower of Jesus, and view Christians this way, please accept my apology for the way I have misrepresented who Jesus was and is. I’m sorry.
And if you want to talk about it, hit me up at darrin@pneumaproject.org
Filed under: Missional Church, Quotes | Tags: Christianity, Church, Faith, God, Jesus, Religion
I ran across this quote the other day and thought it was interesting enough to write it down. Let me know what you think.
“The religious suppose that only the religious know about God or care about God, and that God cares only for the religious. Characteristically, religion is precious and possessive toward God, and institutes and conducts itself as if God really needs religion, as if His existence depends on the recognition of religion. Religion considers that God is a secret disclosed only in the discipline and practice of religion. But all this is most offensive to the Word of God. The best news of God is that He is no secret. The news of God embodied in Jesus Christ is that God is openly and notoriously active in the world. In this news the Christian Church is constituted; it is this news which the Christian Church exists to spread…The Church, unlike any religion, exists to present to the world and to celebrate in the world, and on behalf of the world, God’s presence and power and utterance and action in the on-going life of the world.”
From 1962; “A Private and Public Faith”, by William Stringfellow
Filed under: Bio, Institutional Church | Tags: Church, Church Politics, Dysfunctional Church, Faith, God, Life After Church, Post-Christian, Spirituality
My dissatisfaction with my role in the institutional church came to a head in April of 2007. After numerous years of battling within myself about whether or not I should continue working at that church I realized something had to change. I felt the church had no vision, no direction, no purpose. In my opinion we were not making the world a better place or living in such a way that people were experiencing how amazing life with Jesus was. For the past four years it was like living in a dysfunctional family. Everyone knew it was unhealthy, that things and relationships were not right, and regularly when this was pointed out, promises were made to change, new conversations began about direction and purpose, and I would convince myself that things were going to be different. Every few months a crisis or issue would arise and we would begin the cycle all over again. While in the short term, things did change, each time we always seemed to end up back at the same issues only worse. It was at the end of one of these patterns in April that I told my wife that I really wasn’t sure I could take it anymore.
I’m not laying this all out here to bash the church. Every church, like every family has issues like these. But I am putting it down to paper so as to remind myself (and anyone reading) how good God is.
My wife, Liza had been faithfully listening to me complain about things in leadership since I started working there in 1999. She had heard me declare I was quitting, and seen me struggle through tough situations many times. And each time, like this one, her answer was always the same. “Just do your best, do your job, and if God wants to take you out of there He will.” The next day I went to lunch with the new senior pastor and told him I was struggling with what I perceived as a lack of vision and direction for the church, and that I wasn’t sure I was a fit there anymore. I shared my heart and my frustrations and let him know that Liza and I were really seeking God’s direction in this. We agreed to continue the conversation and search after what God was doing.
Then I started meeting with the elders.
